Monday, April 3, 2017

How To Be a Person in The World - book excerpts 4/3/17

Excerpts from How To Be a Person in The World by Heather Havrilesky

"But people are flawed, the end! You can't be a people without being flawed. Pretending otherwise and looking for perfection in others is a path of self-hatred and delusion and mutual lifelong bullshitting." - page 197

"Life is not about knowing. Life is about feeling your way through the dark. If you say, "This should be lighter by now," you're shutting yourself off from your own happiness. So let there be darkness. Get down on your knees, and crawl through the dark. Crawl and say to yourself, "Holy GOD, it's dark, but just look at me crawl! I can crawl like a motherfucker." - page 208

Thursday, March 23, 2017

How to be a person in the world - book excerpts 3/23/17

Excerpts from How To Be a Person in The World by Heather Havrilesky

You're so good at being GOOD. But how good are you at being YOU?
page 138

A lot of women out there are afraid of being something.
page 139

The lack of spark within you comes from the conflict between WHO YOU TRY TO BE and WHAT YOU REALLY WANT FOR YOURSELF. You want more. You act like you don't want more, you act like you're satisfied, but in fact you want a lot more.
page 141

Monday, March 20, 2017

How to be a Person in The World - book excerpts 3/20/17

Excerpts from How To Be a Person in The World by Heather Havrilesky

Being nice is worthless if you're just going to feel resentful about it in the end. You might as well just be outspoken and state your needs from the outset. Because as much as people resent assertive women, they resent disingenuous, overly friendly, secretly furious women even more.

- page 83

So don't walk around telling these stories about how "one thing led to another" anymore. No one wants to hear your self-created, self perpetuated, narratives.

- page 96

You think he digs you because you're extra-sexy? He digs you because you're pretending. He digs you because you're drawn in by his bullshit. He digs you because you're just like him: strong on the outside, weak and needy on the inside.

- page 98


Thursday, March 2, 2017

How to be a person in the world - book excerpts 3/2/17

Excerpts from How To Be a Person in The World by Heather Havrilesky

"The world has told you lies about how small you are." - page 17

"Sadly, becoming an adult often requires learning to negotiate with devils." - page 21

"Being an idealist is worthless unless you have a strategy for sustaining yourself and aiming for a more conscientious way of living." - page 21

"Groups can't fulfill your every need. Your spouse can't single handedly bring you happiness. Your best female friend can't save you from being alone. Your group of college friends won't feel perfectly right for you when you're in a certain mood. There will always be discrepancies between you and your friends where priorities and lifestyle are concerned. So don't let it prevent you from forging new connections." - page 22

"Your taste for reductive dichotomies, along with your outsized reactions to other people's perceptions of you, may not always serve you..." - page 27

"So many people are allergic to confessional, outspoken women. And let's face it, we're not always serving the common good. We're neurotic motherfuckers with way too much on our minds at all times." - page 29

"Your first priority should be to keep an open mind, to listen, to observe men with a clear, uncluttered perspective. Your second priority should be to never, ever waste a minute of your time on a guy who's tepid." - page 48

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Why We Love - book excerpts 1/17/17

"Because possessiveness is so common in nature, animal behaviorists have given it a name: mate guarding. They regard this taste for sexual exclusivity as a primary aspect of courtship in many species." - 46

"norepinephrine is even linked with a specific mammalian courting pose: lordosis--the female habit of crouching, arching her back, and tipping up her buttocks toward her suitor to advertise sexual availability." - 48

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Why We Love - book excerpts 1/7/17

Started reading Why We Love. I'm barely into the introduction and I can already tell I'm going to love it. I have set a goal for myself to read at least 12 books this year, one a month. And I'm not counting comic books or anything super short. I failed miserably at this goal last year but this year I am more serious about it since if I pace myself and make time for reading instead of watching tv I can easily accomplish it.

From Why We Love the nature and chemistry of romantic love by Helen Fisher.

Page xii:

Romantic love, I believe, is one of the three primordial brain networks that evolved to direct mating and reproduction. Lust, the craving for sexual gratification, emerged to motivate our ancestors to seek sexual union with almost any partner. Romantic love, the elation and obsession of "being in love," enabled them to focus their courtship attentions on a single individual at a time, thereby conserving precious mating time and energy. And male-female attachment, the feeling of calm, peace, and security one often has for a long-term mate, evolved to motivate our ancestors to love this partner long enough to rear their young together.

Page 2:

Story of Qays, son of tribal chieftain in ancient Arabia. In love with Layla meaning "night" for her jet black hair. He became known as Majnun, or madman.

Page 8:

"But love... it's only an illusion. A story one makes up in one's mind about another person. And one knows all the time it isn't true. Of course one knows; why one's always taking care not to destroy the illusion." - Virginia Woolf

Page 9:

"With thee conversing, I forget all time." - Milton in Paradise Lost