Monday, June 26, 2017

EDC 2017

I recently went to EDC for the first time in Vegas with my boyfriend. It ran from June 16th to the 18th, three days all together. I've never been to a rave before and I loved it. The music was fun to dance to, people were dressed up in rave gear, people gave me kandi even though I told them they don't have to and I didn't have anything to give them in return, and the vibe was incredible. It felt so good to be surrounded by friendly people who just want to have fun. It's like all the awkwardness of approaching people and all the weird social rules that create distance between strangers just didn't exist anymore. You could go up to anybody and talk to them and a lot of people were even ok with being touched. And it wasn't sexual, even if you did think the other person was sexy. It was more of a curious kind of affection. Like the other person being there in the moment with you fascinated you and you just wanted to explore them. Coming back home was hard. Back to work, back to feeling like there are all these boundaries between me and becoming friends with the people around me. It's like an EDC you could let go and just be naive about whether or not people would accept you because in that controlled social setting everyone had the same goal, just to enjoy themselves, and had similar interests. So there was no fear, no apprehensiveness, no posturing, just this desire to connect.

I'm getting kind of emotional actually just thinking about how much I miss it... but I definitely want to go next year and so does my boyfriend and so do some of my friends. So we're going. I'm going to try to go every single year until I can't take it anymore. Maybe going to raves will become a part of my life now.

And it was beautiful. There were rainbows of neon lights and the most spectacular fireworks shows that I've ever seen and there was even actual fire! Pyrotechnics! And people were all dancing and so happy and I'd be dancing and look over at my friends dancing then look at my boyfriend dancing and just feel so happy and because it was of course very loud because of the music there wasn't really much talking that could be done but my boyfriend would just mouth the words, "I love you" to me and I was so happy I could just float away.

Back home now of course my friends are still my friends and I connected with some people I met via social media and I can look forward to next year and my boyfriend is here and still loves me but the atmosphere there was so unique. Everyone was your friend. Everything felt good. For 3 days all that mattered was that I was having fun surrounded by nice people. I actually lost a noticeable amount of weight from dancing and so did my boyfriend. And during the day we enjoyed seeing shows and going out to eat and going to fun places in Vegas. One day I just spent hours  at the hotel pool and now I have a really nice tan that almost makes me sad when I notice it when I change clothes because I miss it there so much.

Three days is enough though of partying to that extreme. Anymore and I might have just collapsed. But the feeling of being in a beautiful wonderland surrounded by all those friendly faces. I need to find a way to recreate that at home. Or maybe find a new home.

I understand now that money is best spent on making memories with people you care about and not on just amassing possessions.

I'm grateful that life lead me there and that I got to experience it. I am almost mad at myself for having never gone to EDC before but what made it extra special is that I was there with my boyfriend who I just barely met in November 2016 and my friends and his friends were there and we got to do it all together.

PLUR - Peace, Love, Unity, Respect
Mushy hippie stuff for raves but real values to live by. Until next year EDC, I love you. I'll do all that I can to maintain the warm and fuzzy feelings you gave me and to spread Peace, Love, Unity and Respect in my average every day life <3

Day One Costumes
Day Two Costumes
Day Three Costumes
A couple group shots

A post shared by Samantha Yo (@likeabun) on
The cosmic meadow where I met so many nice people
Kandi given to me by generous strangers even though I insisted they not feel obligated to give me anything at all
Riding the Gondola in The Venetian with the love of my life
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Our hotel

Monday, April 3, 2017

How To Be a Person in The World

Excerpts from How To Be a Person in The World by Heather Havrilesky

"But people are flawed, the end! You can't be a people without being flawed. Pretending otherwise and looking for perfection in others is a path of self-hatred and delusion and mutual lifelong bullshitting." - page 197

"Life is not about knowing. Life is about feeling your way through the dark. If you say, "This should be lighter by now," you're shutting yourself off from your own happiness. So let there be darkness. Get down on your knees, and crawl through the dark. Crawl and say to yourself, "Holy GOD, it's dark, but just look at me crawl! I can crawl like a motherfucker." - page 208

Reading Tarot Cards

One of my best friends in life, Jamie, did a tarot card reading for me today on my past, present and future. It was super relatable and really made me think. Basically in my past I was stuck and being held back by someone who wasn't really there for me. My present is a place where some hesitation might benefit me. There is suspension and an emphasis on letting go. My future is full of growth but also competition where I'll have to continually prove myself and rise to challenges. I really like the order those readings came in because I feel like it shows progress and like things are moving in the right direction and that I'm really getting to know myself and be more powerful. I'm ready :)

Here are the links she used to look-up the meanings of the cards:
Here are the Tarot Cards I decided to buy for myself:

Thursday, March 23, 2017

How to be a person in the world

Excerpts from How To Be a Person in The World by Heather Havrilesky

You're so good at being GOOD. But how good are you at being YOU?
page 138

A lot of women out there are afraid of being something.
page 139

The lack of spark within you comes from the conflict between WHO YOU TRY TO BE and WHAT YOU REALLY WANT FOR YOURSELF. You want more. You act like you don't want more, you act like you're satisfied, but in fact you want a lot more.
page 141

Monday, March 20, 2017

How to be a Person in The World

Excerpts from How To Be a Person in The World by Heather Havrilesky

Being nice is worthless if you're just going to feel resentful about it in the end. You might as well just be outspoken and state your needs from the outset. Because as much as people resent assertive women, they resent disingenuous, overly friendly, secretly furious women even more.

- page 83

So don't walk around telling these stories about how "one thing led to another" anymore. No one wants to hear your self-created, self perpetuated, narratives.

- page 96

You think he digs you because you're extra-sexy? He digs you because you're pretending. He digs you because you're drawn in by his bullshit. He digs you because you're just like him: strong on the outside, weak and needy on the inside.

- page 98